You know, people come to therapy really for blessing. Not so much to fix what’s broken, but to get what’s broken blessed.
— James Hillman

For decades I've studied human psychology, spirituality behaviour, development and spirituality and what I've learned from text, teacher and life itself has been enormously useful, but just as dissection can never fully reveal that which is dissected, nor can technique alone address human problems without deeply considering that which "animates" and feeds the human life and soul. For the past few years, I have been drawn ever more to poetry and to the wild and natural world and in those places found what seems to be so desperately missing from our day to day living. What is most often missing is a reverence as the late Irish writer and philosopher John O'Donohue would have named it. .. and so while I am a technician of human relating and a relationship whisperer, I am as well a spokesperson for the holy human, a rememberer of the soul before it was forced to seek exile from the devouring appetite of all things perpetrated in the name of progress and advancement; I'm an archeologist of long ago buried dreams, a banshee for the riches of grief and finally a trader of words .. the invisible winged ones hatched from thought and voice that are mostly stealing from you if what you speak is what was handed down to you from family and culture, for it is words and language that weave your life and relations even now as you read this page. It is vital to become deeply attentive to what is yearning to be spoken but has too often been frightened off .. no different than the wild bracing itself at the approaching footsteps of land developers and their machinery.

When we approach with reverence, great things decide to approach us. Our real life comes to the surface and its light awakens the concealed beauty in things. When we walk on the earth with reverence, beauty will decide to trust us. The rushed heart and arrogant mind lack the gentleness and patience to enter that embrace.

— John O'Donohue

Individual and Couple's Support

Our close relationships are very important. In fact, our ability to experience genuine happiness throughout life is largely based on how well we manage the ups and downs of the relationship terrain. It's not easy in this world though. We live under the relentless tyranny of the almighty to-do list which leaves little time or energy to truly nurture relationships; as well we are deeply conditioned by enculturation and our families of origin which entrench us in negative patterns of relating. Consequently many of our more important relationships become embittered and unsatisfying. If you've hit a rough spot and feel the weariness that often accompanies relationships that are not as harmonious as they could be, I will help you:

  • clearly see the patterns that keep you stuck
  • learn the language of repair and connection
  • turn grievances into opportunities that will strengthen your relationships

One of the things I've learned in my many years of working with people and living my own life is how vital it is to develop our human capacity to grieve and feel our broken-heartedness and to begin to live our lives from a more mythic perspective. Our culture's strong endorsement of self-sufficiency and personal success might be applauded on the one hand, but on the other, it significantly decreases our capacity to live inter-dependently in the deepest sense of the word and cuts us off from experiencing the full range of depth and feeling that comes with being human. We begin to harden to life and our relating becomes tight and restrictive to us and to others. I am forever amazed to witness the restorative and nurturing space that opens up for people when they allow themselves to get in touch with the closed off parts of themselves. Experience what a commitment to this essential core part of yourself can do for you! I work with individuals, couples and families.
Return to services >>

Select your program

Make your selection above. Then email me to set up our first appointment. Sessions are conducted via phone or Skype on weekdays between 9am and 4pm Pacific Time (with some flexibility depending on time zone differences). 

Terms and Conditions
Sessions are non-refundable. It is up to the purchaser to schedule sessions in a timely manner. If for any reason you are unable to keep an appointment, please provide 24 hours notice. Cancellations within less than 24 hours will not be rescheduled except under extenuating circumstances. 

Individual Sessions
$120 60 minutes
$180 90 minutes

Package of 3
$330 three 60 minute sessions
$495 three 90 minute sessions

Package of 6
$595  six 60 minute sessions
$850  six 90 minute sessions

6 Months Support
$1075 1hr session bi-weekly
$1965 1hr session weekly 

9 Months Support
$1525  1hr session bi-weekly
$2875  1hr session weekly 

Soul Shelter + 'Rock Bottom' Coaching

       

 

 

 

 

It happens, that dreadful and wonderful force called change. Whether we face change willingly or kicking and screaming, there remains that undeniable pull towards a foreign territory that demands our eventual presence, a theme I've come to know quite intimately over the past few years. Call it metamorphosis, call it transition, call it self-actualization or dark night of the soul .. call it whatever you will but regardless, it asks you to make something useful of your grief and poverty.

With so much coaching aimed at getting one's mojo into high gear, there appears to be a corresponding need to help people build shelters for the soul .. a corner of sanity away from the drive for success craze which might also be called 'Rock Bottom' or 'Failure' Coaching. Far from disparaging, it's something most of us in the dominant culture need to learn in order to become deep humans. Skillful ability to live life in the 'minor key' actually deepens our appreciation of life. 

This is also for all the human canaries out there who have been trying to make a go of it for too long in the inhospitable mines of growth and progress and need some reassurance that .. no you've not lost your mind and there might in fact be some redemptive value in what you're wrestling with. Failure and heartbreak will be more faithful to your soul and humanity than any number of goals you set. This doesn't mean never set goals but rather to make room for crash and burn to whatever degree it happens and not consider it a personal flaw on your part. As well as my flagship communication sessions which examine the impact of language and communication on yourself and others, this particular coaching is for those who are feel lost or bewildered in the world, either generally speaking or regarding specific issues and would like to explore the beauty of this too often misunderstood terrain. 
Return to services >>

Select your program

2 Steps:
Make your selection above. Then email me to set up our first appointment. Sessions are conducted via phone or Skype on weekdays between 9am and 4pm Pacific Time (with some flexibility depending on time zone differences).

Terms and Conditions
Sessions are non-refundable. It is up to the purchaser to schedule sessions in a timely manner. If for any reason you are unable to keep an appointment, please provide 24 hours notice. Cancellations within less than 24 hours will not be rescheduled except under extenuating circumstances. 

Individual Sessions
$120 60 minutes
$180 90 minutes

Package of 3
$330 three 60 minute sessions
$495 three 90 minute sessions

Package of 6
$595  six 60 minute sessions
$850  six 90 minute sessions

6 Months Support
$1075 1hr session bi-weekly
$1965 1hr session weekly 

9 Months Support
$1525  1hr session bi-weekly
$2875  1hr session weekly 

Executive Coaching

Do you have a "people problem" that just won't go away? Are you facing a challenge or period of growth? Do you have "difficult" personalities on your team? Coaching can be invaluable for those who want to:

  • resolve a conflict
  • increase team effectiveness
  • better understand relationship dynamics
  • raise the bar in communication

Restoring trust and goodwill after communication breaks down can be difficult ... so difficult that valuable employees, managers or life partners often choose to give up and walk away.

By becoming aware of the dynamics at play, it is entirely possible to become "unstuck" and turn challenging situations into positive learning experiences that actually strengthen relationships.

Anger, for example, easily becomes an unhealthy cycle: voices get louder, heart rates increase and words are spoken quickly and without forethought. Destructive reactions follow, usually with little regard for the consequences. Finally, we cool off. Guilt settles in and we berate ourselves for our behaviour.

Rarely do we get to the root of anger. And so... the cycle repeats itself, every time as a tragic expression of unacknowledged yet vitally important needs.

Using specific tools, I will support you in identifying and dissolving existing negative patterns as well as support you in developing a vocabulary that will help youspeak with increasing levels of clarity and openness.

In this way, it's possible to rebuild compromised or unhealthy relationships, crack them open so that new life can be released and circulated leading ultimately to deeply rewarding dialogue.

Whether you're looking for executive coaching, mediation or personal support, I can help you make significant breakthroughs. Contact me for fee schedule and to discuss your situation. (Executive Coaching starts at $300/hr)
Return to services >>

Mediation

Life and each person's unique approaches to it can be quite complex. Sometimes so much so that there are unresolved issues between people that are simply too charged or clouded to sort through without generating even more misunderstanding. This is where third party support can be instrumental in helping those involved find their way to a shift that brings mutual clarity and creative solutions. In a mediated session I will help you:

  • understand what is essentially at the root of your conflict
  • re-establish healthy connection
  • make clear agreements so that parties can better predict and navigate "bumpy" terrain.

Don't make the mistake of letting differences interfere with the possibility of making a breakthrough. A mediated session will help clear the air and provide your relating, whether personal or professional, with renewed momentum. Contact me for fee schedule and to discuss your situation. A typical mediation session will take between 2 to 3 hours and may require follow up coaching. (Group/Corporate starts at $300/hr; Family/Individuals starts at $150/hr) 
Return to services >>

Informal Chat

I regularly receive calls and emails from people who wish to meet up with me over coffee to exchange ideas around NVC or to discuss and learn more about my particular approach. Questions range from How did you get into this line of work? to What does it take to build a career from NVC? to What are your thoughts on x or y? I’m deeply touched and grateful that people reach out to me and wish I could say yes to each and every invitation but the existing demands on my time and the very real investments I’ve made over my lifetime to acquire the insights that people find inspiring and supportive mean that it’s good for both of us if I am financially compensated for my time. For such queries and those that include dissemination and application of Nonviolent Communication, I would be happy to meet up with you in person (Victoria BC) or schedule a phone or Skype call. My suggested rate is $80/hr.  Contact me to get set up a time.
Return to services >>

Spend an hour with me

Organize a training for your group or team

For people who wish to bring this valuable work to their community or team, I would be happy to speak with you about how to structure a training specific to your group and interests. Please contact me to arrange a phone conversation. 

PRINT OFF A FLYER FOR CONSIDERATION AT YOUR NEXT MEETING . . .

“One of my greatest joys is to see people’s faces light up as they gain insight into a liberating and unifying approach to thinking and communicating that will empower them to nurture the relationships in their lives in ways they had not thought possible. People leave workshops and trainings with renewed hope when they grasp these concepts and begin to successfully apply them.”

See my client list >>
Return to services >>

Arriving with an open heart and learning an approach that could stretch and open people so much more was an unexpected and joyous gift. To be able to move beyond simple surface analysis to true spirit connection was absolutely great for me.
— Ken Crawford, Project Manager