The Rescue Card (best printed 2-sided on card stock - 3 cards per sheet) can be placed in your home or office for quick retrieval. Let's face it, there are plenty of times when we get triggered and it's crucial during those moments to NOT bite the hook and fall prey to those predictably painful and destructive ways of relating that we have in the past. This card will help you halt the habit and re-establish a healthier pattern during those challenging times. In a heated moment, just hold the card in front of you and read the side that says, "Wow, I need to stop right now ..."
The Needs & Feelings List (best printed 2-sided on card stock or laminated) can also be strategically placed in your home. It often ends up on fridges or on office desks as a quick reference guide. Share it with family, friends and colleagues to help increase the possibility of people speaking authentically on the basis of our shared humanity. Study this list often and before you know it you will have internalized the vocabulary!
These tools have supported a great many people. Let me know how these work for you!
The FOUR steps of Nonviolent Communication. This is 2 pages. The first page summarizes each of the steps and the second page describes the ways in which our language alienates us from ourselves and each other.
These Guiding Questions will help you review your motives and approach before engaging in especially important conversations. Carry it with you, share it with the other person if possible, and make a decision to stay on track instead of getting pulled into old speaking and listening habits that do you no good.
Things we know but often forget. It's good to review this list from time to time because it's all too easy in the busyness of our lives to lose track of what matters and how relationships work. Keep this nearby as a reminder and for challenging moments.
The Four Responses Exercise is an exercise that I have people do in my workshops and trainings. It provides a real glimpse into the impact of our responses on others and supports people in learning a new way of communicating. I've been asked for the exercise so many times I figure this would be a good place to make it available. Simply print it off on standard paper or postcard stock, then cut across the middle. Enjoy!